On raising one’s vibrational energy…is is possible to lose touch with less inclined friends…friends who want to keep you in a certain place…friends who wish to stay victims…or prefer you stay the victim. Moving further into higher dimensional thinking…I no longer resonate at the frequency of victimhood. Could it be our friends and loved ones lose that safe harbor in the friendship. This is difficult for me…rationally I understand it…in the past…I used to let lost friendships linger in my thoughts. I cannot do that…as the experiences unfolding for me are real…must let go of my desire to hold on to them…as that goes against the law of free will…
Some positive things to report in my life…my work will be on exhibit and for sale at the Daily Planet restaurant in Burlington, Vermont for the month of June. This is a haven for artists…lucky to be on their selective list. I will most likely have an opening and will let you all know the date and time of that…very exciting…
We videotaped the discussion following the documentary “No End In Sight”…which you need to watch…astonishing how disorganized the postwar Iraq leadership under Rumsfeld and Cheney…the masterminds…very powerful documentary…just see it…send me your thoughts afterwards…peace begins with awareness…
Lastly…a bit on compassion…I ran into the guy I was begging to sleep with me last week…thanked him for not sleeping with me…as he could have…and so not at all what I want…he was sweet about it…we had a laugh…and a friendship was formed…this is huge for me…as my victim stage is coming to an end…and out of it forming strong connections…the universe is definitely on my side…and it is not leaving. (7×7 oil pastel)
Filed under oil pastel. |
Busy day today…dropping the kids off with their dad to go skiing…meeting with Daily Planet regarding placement of my art work in their popular Burlington restaurant…this evening watching the Oscar nominee documentary “No End In Sight” about the Iraq war…filming the discussion afterwards…should be a lively debate for this town. OK…not in the mood to be all existential today…nonetheless feel obligated to touch on how delighted I am to be in the now…grateful for my rich life…the courage to believe in my goals and dreams…loving all the outrageously cool people in my life…especially my bloggy friends…your awesome (7×7 oil pastel)
Filed under oil pastel. |
The kids and I are painting to Mozart…classical music meant to rewire the cerebral frequencies…admiring the dive right in approach to art young children take. I will have to post Callan’s series of our pet cats…dead and alive…in chronological order….his keen sense of memory…and ability to capture their feline essence from imagination.
Pain and love and how interchangeable…pain can act as a catalyst for change. Through pain…can we understand and have compassion for each other…the kind of compassion that enables us to feel what another may feel…but not get caught up in it. Recently unfolding personal emotional layers of shame…guilt…anger…could be any particular order of the three…tangled up in selfish relationships…these selfish relationships thrusting me into this tremendous growth spurt…some of the symptoms…increased energy…manic energy…increased drinking…vivid wild orgy-like dreams…increased attention…most of all an overpowering sense of love…especially toward those whom my selfish thoughts have ripped apart…not realizing I was learning from these individuals…thinking they caused me this pain…could it be out of this pain…I am deriving a sort of heart centered compassion…not talking about an intellectual compassion…a connectedness…an intense moment of real love…for this person or persons whom have hurt me so…could this be possible…to the Christine who holds grudges for lifetimes…even to the hot guy I blew off at the bar the other night…the next day…I saw him…he said, “Hello, Christine” in a stern voice…immediately my heart sank…how could I experience that same level of compassion…connectedness…as I did to the man who broke my heart repeatedly…and to all my loves…past and future…it’s a whole new world for me…
I have read that the pain stored within our memories and emotional blocks is the fuel we use for ascension. The anger…shame…guilt…resentment…all forms of pain…when transmuted in the high heart chakra…become compassion…and compassion…the key element of ascension. With this new knowledge…to all the loves whom…in my little mind…have hurt me…we are mirroring back a pain…amazing…the power I have just being in another’s life…they find the need to draw me into their lives for a beautiful healing experience…could we all be ascending together…wow…kind of freaking me out…(7×7 oil pastel)
Filed under ascension, kids/friends, love and oil pastel. |
I have written extensively about this shift I am feeling…recently describing it as an out of control spinning…in a good way…sort of leaving my physical body…incredibly desirable in many ways…not resonating with the weak at heart…being in two dimensions at the same time…experiencing vivid wild orgy dreams…living in a vortex…spiraling up to the center of the universe…self indulged…during my college years…lusted over my college science professor…took every course he offered…botony…evolution…human genetics…he was also my college advisor…often found myself in his office crying over the tribulations of my dramatic life…once we got into a discussion about emotions…and how the world would be much better off without emotions…thus the gravitation to him…his incredible smartness…so here I am again…spouting off about emotions…and why I feel like I am spinning…even though for the most part my emotions are light…have pretty much everything I need…except a man…figure that is near the bottom of my self needs list…keep asking myself what is the next step…where do I transcend from here…back to politics…and the need to get people to vote…Americans need to rethink the way we participate in politics…government of the people, by the people, for the people. (Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address) Am I correct…are American citizens the true governing body of this republic…our elected officials…are they our employees…paid by us…to carry out the citizens’ mandates? Are we that absorbed in our material self that we can not see this as important…a pathway to peace? (7×7 oil pastel)
Filed under oil pastel and peace. |
Trying not to take things personally…life happens…no sense beating oneself up…sending warmth and love to all my uncomfortable situations…an attempt to diffuse the drama queen emotions…I was having brunch yesterday with friend…completely hungover from my birthday celebration…over a three egg bacon and cheddar omelet of which I could not finish…who can eat three eggs […]
Filed under ascension and oil pastel. |
I am in an arty mood…sitting here in the sun room…enjoying the warmth…also puts me in a writing sort of mood…the subconscious guilt…the need to castrate myself…even so…transcending myself…is it fair…at the mercy of others…can not absorb others pain…you could beat me merciless…I would not feel a thing…triggers an alternate reality of fearlessness…dancing out of […]
Filed under Uncategorized. |
In the end…I can only be the person I am. We try to make sense of the weight of the world…and why for some is it soo soo heavy…struggling with the answers…he loves me…why i can’t love him back…but I do…I am transcending so fast…can’t seem to slow down to feel him…so looking in […]
Filed under Uncategorized and oil pastel. |
Well today is my birthday…a whopping 30 plus 8 years old. I still think I am a young 20 something…certainly act it. I spelled spinning wrong in the painting…the nice thing about my cozy house…art supplies everywhere…I was going to take the day off…go for a run and pamper myself…the kids fingerpaints on […]
Filed under kids/friends. |
Apologies for taking a few personal days…consumed with the gallery project and documentary. Both taking up head space. My cat is in heat…she is out prowling around right this minute. She won’t come in. Sort of like my frame of mind these days…the random hook up seems desirable. Everything […]
Filed under Uncategorized. |
Plan on painting the ceiling of the gallery room today…reaching out on a limb here…the color bath salt (a pale green turquoise)…a reach from my neutral palette of color choices for interior walls. Totally excited to hang my artwork on the walls…and represent other artists work here…the room should be completed by the end of the week. Todays painting is sad…there will be times when I sit down and feel empty…in my quietness…feelings of loneliness overtake me…lucky for me…I have very funny friends…who in an instant lift me up. Here’s the thing…I am going to keep doing what I am doing…some days may do mediocre work…the important thing…keep doing what you love…keep doing it everyday..eventually the voices will go away…as they have for me…energy flows where your attention is…my energy is giving power to my creativity…and that is exciting. Fuck all those feelings of unworthiness and self doubt! (7×7 oil pastel)
Filed under oil pastel. |
On raising one’s vibrational energy…is is possible to lose touch with less inclined friends…friends who want to keep you in a certain place…friends who wish to stay victims…or prefer you stay the victim. Moving further into higher dimensional thinking…I no longer resonate at the frequency of victimhood. Could it be our friends and loved ones lose that safe harbor in the friendship. This is difficult for me…rationally I understand it…in the past…I used to let lost friendships linger in my thoughts. I cannot do that…as the experiences unfolding for me are real…must let go of my desire to hold on to them…as that goes against the law of free will…
Recent Comments
Mikki- on Higher Awareness
Bookmarks about Consciousness- on in and out of consciousness
Mikki- on Feel The Burn
Cyn- on Feel The Burn
artmom- on Here Comes The Night